The bane of arranged marriages
I was at the physiotherapist, working on healing my broken ankle with a series of massages, tissue reconstruction and exercises. One of the under-rated aspects of physiotherapy is the conversation which get’s flowing, kinda akin to when you’re at the barber’s.
He asked me about my weekend plans, I stumbled with trying to concisely transmit the mess of a housing situation that I’m in (more on that coming soon) and veered towards mentioning a new girl that I was seeing and very awkwardly on the first date itself she wanted to ensure that she wasn’t a ‘placeholder’ until I got arrange marriage done(lol). Really it’s so funny and inappropriate it deserves it’s own story. The PT was very intrigued by it and had some half baked notions on arranged marriage which he wanted to vet by me.
My opener was it’s become super tough, at-least for me personally, these days because in the traditional sense, back in the good old days, the parents brought you in contact with someone. You met once or twice and gave a thumbs up or down, the wedding venue was decided, and before you knew it you had to kids, balding hair, protruding belly. You were content and happy in life. It was safe predictable with little variability
Nowadays though there’s a lot more to the person than meets the eye. There’s a facade on social media, there’s blog posts, possibly a video or 2. There’ stuff going on their lives which are affecting the impressions they’re leaving. There’s the mind games of who’s supposed to call or message. There’s the dilemma and fear or how do you say no tactfully? Do you give it another chance? Maybe she’ll open up more later? Maybe she was having a bad day and speaking rudely?
I can tell you, it’s a boat load of time waste. The incessant starts, reboots, stops, drama, melodrama. You’re deciding to commit your life to someone who you barely had a chance to know deeply, and who are judging every move that you’re making.
It’s a big mental strain. On the flip side, it is necessary too. You’re applying a filter of a life fu
I have spoken to over 30 girls perhaps at this point, pretty much seen the entire spectrum of women personalities. There was one, who the moment I brought up an ex, (just saying that she was vegetarian but was able to easily adjust with me) wanted to reconsider the match, to the other one who would go on and on talking about various ex’s in quite great detail including how she made out at the tender age of 16, and got police sent to the guy’s place. Then there were the sweet ones who just naturally drifted away, or for those that circumstances and archaic ways of Indian culture brought to a halt.
